Welcome to my Website

*Its just a feeling is bursting with pride to have been nominated for a Mind charity media award 2013*

I want to start saying hello and giving you a very warm welcome my Website "It's just a feeling".

This Website has been written by myself and is based on my own knowledge of Panic Disorders and Depression, I have been through this and have come out of the other side. My life is now 99% Panic free. (Everyone has some nervousness in their life, that's normal, it's the unhelpful panic that we would like to go away!)

I wrote this web site as I wanted to prevent others suffering to the extent that I did, I believed that contributing factors to my own suffering were mainly a lack of sufficient knowledge and plain English answers from medical professionals, internet or in fact any method I tried to help me, and the support (written or spoken) of someone who had been there and really understands what this feelings like.

I believed that everyone who suffers Anxiety, Panic attacks or Depression has the right to:

  • An detailed explanation and the knowledge of their condition so that they can really understand what is happening to them.
  • Support and hope from someone who has been there and come out the other side
  • An understanding of how their own body and mind is working to keep them stuck and how to work with their body to reverse the cycle at the root and maintain recovery into the future.

I want to provide the answers to the questions you have and give you faith that anyone can come through this. 

Personally, I have been about as bad as this gets for a long period of my life, but I honestly believe that anyone can regain their quality of life from these Disorders as long as they understand what is happening to them and how by following their natural instinct to make things better for themselves they actually things much worse. Virtually everything you instinctively do to dig yourself out of this or keep yourself safe, will actually keep you stuck.

Recovery is not instant and will take knowledge, courage and work, as you strive to make newer happier memories for yourself and develop more positive habits. 

I had a twelve year period where Chronic Anxiety and Depression had been a real problem for me. I started with acute Panic symptoms on the 11th September 2000 on my daughters 1st Birthday , that said I had always been an anxious person and a bit of a worrier.

I followed my first Panic Attack with a visit to my Doctor on the 12th which went something like me saying, ' I am not sure what is wrong with me, but I just know I felt scared sat in the waiting room'. The Doctor replied ' Oh yes you have had a panic attack, so here is a pill to slow down your heart and off you go'. I can remember thinking if this is something so trivial then why do I feel so bad, the doctor must have missed something. When that one pill did nothing to stop my ongoing symptoms, I became fixated internally and obsessed with how I was feeling, and so the panic cycle had begun as I began to fear when the next attack may strike and began doubting my ability to get through it.

But what I was not understanding at the time was that it was the way I reacted to my Panic Attack that turned it into an Anxiety Disorder!

That Doctor never explained anything to me, just gave me a pill and sent me on my way. I remember having lots of questions as to what on earth was happening to me and I felt scared and unable to deal with my symptoms. I gave much thought over the years to why no "experienced" medical professional ever gave me the real understanding that could potentially have prevented me sinking to the level I did. I think that many know the text book theory on Panic however may have never felt Anxiety, Panic or Depression themselves. I also think that there is an element of not wanting to scare you or give you a label that could hinder your recovery. I do know now though that the importance of early intervention, explaining correctly and immediately is really important to anyone suffering panic symptoms. Armed with this knowledge right at the beginning, I believe can prevent people from slipping into an Anxiety Disorder or in fact greatly reduce the length of time that a person suffers needlessly when they don't have to.

This is the driver behind my desire to write and keep this Website live

It's so important to me to educate people properly about these conditions. I have felt these symptoms for many years and I reversed the cycle for myself. I understand how this feels.

The medical professions limited practical knowledge is what makes Anxiety symptoms so difficult to treat. Without a real understanding of how it feels or the importance of explaining things correctly to the patient right at the beginning, things can start to get out of hand. If you don't really understand what your body is doing and how to reverse things, then you un- knowingly start to apply behaviours that actually make you worse. Virtually everything you do to instinctively protect yourself from your panic will actually be making you worse. This is quite simply how it can all go very quickly downhill from an initial feeling of panic to a full blown anxiety disorder!.

As it turned out for me, when I started with acute symptoms, I was to spend the next twelve years trying to find the answers myself.

My brain, (a logical organ that when faced with a problem tries to solve it) went into overdrive trying to find the solution to my problem and I was convinced there was something very wrong with me and began seeing one doctor after another.

I saw a psychiatrist as I was convinced I was going crazy and every type of therapist or expert there was - each one knowing only text book information and text book answers, some of which helped a little, but the plain English answers I craved were still difficult to find. I spent a small fortune on treatments I thought would work but didn't and it still saddens me that I needlessly suffered for all those years when I didn't have to.

I am not for one moment suggesting that you put no confidence in Doctors. Your Doctor should always be your first person you call as you will need to get a full health check to make sure there is no other condition causing your symptoms.

Doctor's do tend to treat firstly though with the only treatments available to them as a first line which is usually medication.

In my experience no pill will solve anxiety problems as anything taken to mask the symptoms is not solving the underlying problem. Understanding how this works, what is happening to you and taking the time to learn what you need to do to reverse things in way that calms panic down will. Anxiety is a very specialised subject with lots of divided opinions on how to treat.

My own methods have come through my own research and absolute commitment to overcoming my own issues. I have never been content to just accept that this is me now or accept that I can't get my quality of life back, that is just not me.

I am absolutely committed to recovering and have always retained my strong will whatever this has thrown at me. Yes I have days where I have questioned if there is any hope, but have always known that my struggles can and will be overcome. The secret has never been to try and erase what bad has happened to you, rather than to become self aware, self accepting and to change any perceptions or beliefs that no longer work for you.

I have now absolutely dedicated  to helping other people find the courage, hope and knowledge to begin to facilitate their own recovery.

Anxiety manifests in different people in different ways, Hence labels such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety, Agoraphobia, but they are all treatable in the same way by disarming them at the root.

The bad news is that you need to accept that recovery takes time and some effort. Do not waste money on so called Internet 'treatments' that just do not work. Nothing will cure Anxiety in an instant.

Everyone can recover from this, however bad you think you are, you just need to go about things in the right way.

Wishing you all good health and happiness

Michelle