Get to know your fear Monster
One day you notice him for the first time and then it is all downhill from there!
The Fear Monster concept is quite simple.
Everyone has a Fear Monster, just not everyone has noticed that he is there.
When you don't notice him, he doesn't bother you, but as soon as you become aware of his presence, all hell will break loose.
Usually we live our life focusing on ourselves, our family, friends, hobbies and life in general. We live in the outer circle of our world, focusing outwards, living in each moment and taking life as it comes.
That is until one day, when for whichever individual reason our issues or problems overwhelm us and we feel acute fear for the very first time. It feels a very scary and unknown place to be. Barron, bleak and empty.
Fear on this scale can feel so paralysing that we forget about life, and we begin to worry about the feeling so badly that we enter a much smaller inner circle where our focus shifts from the outside world and instead we become our own secret watch and alert person.
We take a 24 hour guard for the possible next feeling of fear. Our vigilance knows no bounds and focus so hard on this feeling that we become withdrawn and detached from our surroundings, the people we love and things we used to enjoy. Our life starts to become limited and the cycle of avoidance starts. That is because fear is a very real emotion that everyone has the capacity to feel.
Nobody is immune to feeling fear, but fear is always false evidence appearing real and that is what this visual is all about.
The Fear Monster is here, he has appeared and he is strong and growing, he does not want to deflate and lose his strength at any cost, he has been looking for a source of strength and fuel and now he has one- YOU.
He's delighted, you're in his grip and he does not want to let you go!
The Fear Monster is your Anxiety in a visual form. He is a menace, who without the right knowledge and training can be very troublesome with the ability to make you very scared and your life very limited and upsetting. He needs to destroy you to survive, your fear is his oxygen.
However, he is all bluff, because he is not real, he is something that you create by trying to protect yourself from feelings and symptoms that are not dangerous. By losing your focus on daily life and falling into the trap of focusing inwards, self monitoring and living only to protect yourself from the next fearful feeling, you enter the Fear Monsters world and your choices and behaviours which you think are protecting you, cause him to grow.
He is here, he has you, your his puppet, his food and the reason he can grow and thrive. All he has to do is keep your focus on him and fill you with enough fear every minute of every day to cause you to make decisions and perform behaviours that keep him strong.
It is not all bad news though...
With the right knowledge and training you can learn to make friends with your monster and work with him to create a brand new Anxiety free you!
My own Fear Monster appeared and quite literally scared me to death. I was terrified of him for so many years, I had no idea where he had come from or why he was there, I accepted everything he said to me as truth and didn't have a minute where I didn't think about him, the fear he generated in me and what he said might happen to me if I didn't follow his advice to avoid my fear. By limiting everything I did, I was isolating myself and performing behaviours to seemingly keep my fear at bay.
This was the wrong way though and it was to be 12 long years before I got it, the secret of the way out, it is now my aim to shorten that time for anyone else by providing the right method of escape.
If you thought that I was going to tell you that you somehow can climb out of this by avoiding the feeling of fear, then sadly you are very wrong.
Taking the hard way and going against every instinct you have to protect yourself, is the only way out of the Fear Monsters world. You have to make the right choices to achieve the end goal of becoming free of panic and anxiety.The Fear Monster loves rut and routine and to play the same old CD over and over again, day after day.
"The only way out is to go through it.
The only time you will fail is when you stop trying.
These are very good mantra's to have just before going into battle with your Fear Monster. Don't have fears of failing, what can be worse that staying as you are now?, what do you have to lose?
Don't think about falling, just jump!.